Candlemas

From Corriere Elbano: News of February 2, 1950

 

Who knows how the weather is going to be like on Thursday,  the day that Corriere Elbano is out? I have to take revenge on the well known joke added to my article on January, but I wouldn't want my colleagues to make fun of me behind my back.

If it rains on Candlemas, says the old proverb, winter is over, while if there is sunshine or even a bit of sun, we are always in the middle of winter. For me it does not matter, the weather can do whatever: I don't dare predict the weather anymore.

I am afraid that if i write that the weather is nice, there is going to be a flood, on the other hand if I predict bad weather that there is going to be a sun splitting the stones.

All my life has happened in the midst of incredible contradictions. When I was young I was passionate about singing, I was dreaming to become Beniamino Gigli, though nature made me terribly out of tune.

Later, I was dreaming to have a career like Meazza or Piola, but I could not even kick a ball, as the first and last time I did it I made a hole in the ground and  broke my right foot.

Then I wanted to be a naval officer, but crossing for the first time the Piombino Channel, on a pretty wavy day, I threw out all my lunch. Since then I decided to join the army. At twenty I made the visit and was rejected for chest deficiency, but then the Italo-Austrian war broke and I was sent anyway to the front and caught rheumatism in the trenches.

I went back home on leave with the the rank of infantry corporal, hoping to get back my place at the office where I was employed, but they told me that I deserved nothing and that there was no salvation nor paradise for stupids: at my place there was a blondie standing out.

Therefore I decided to get into politics and I became Socialist. Fascists were enough to me and to avoid kicks I decided to join Fascists, later becoming chief building. After July 25 in 1943 I got kicked as I was fascist, so I join the Communist party, but on September of the same year, Fascist Republicans made me a black eye, so I joined their party to be safe. After April 1945 they beat me so much as I was Republican that I didn't want to join another party anymore; though I believe I may be beaten again because I am in no one side.

Oh right, yes speaking about Candlemas! So If there is sun we are in the middle of winter, while if it rains it means spring has started. As far as I am concerned, I never know what to do in spring: if I take off my heavy sweater I get super cold, if I keep it I am too hot.

One time on the 21st of March, I put on a boater and went for a picnic in the countryside, I came back home because of a furious rainfall that made my boater seem like a Giulianetti biscuit dipped into caffe latte. A year later, I even kept my winter coat and everyone was telling me I would have got flushes.

So, I never know what to do: how can I then expect you to set according to my advices?

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